Stop where you stand [CAELAN]

Caelan thought of rolling his eyes and making a comment but no he didn't. For now he'd just keep listening, and see what Devan would say. Not like this was that bad, they were figuring it out. Honestly Caelan didn't mind being kissed because of how he felt, and how he was. Plus they'd been dating before the incident. Before that whole thing with the Noble. That damn Noble he wanted to tear a new hole in his chest, or maybe in that pretty face they wanted so much. He felt so bad that Devan had to deal with that. Deal with having his memories torn out of him. What was he supposed to say? For now he'd rather just try to help him. Yet it'd probably not end up working as well as he wanted it too. With a small sigh he just wondered what he was going to do. And mostly how he'd figure this out. "I-It wasn't? What?I did that...?" He blushed and blinked, this was already so confusing, but he didn't entirely mind it.

Yet he didn't know why he was even getting into this sort of thing. Basically. With a small sigh he wondered why he didn't remember that. Caelan tried to figure out what to say he just seemed to squirm. "I-I don't remember doing that, but I like you...and that's obvious now isn't it? So if I did kiss you..." He trailed off and just blushed. He looked away, Caelan felt like he was in a weird spot. And he barely knew what to do, how was he able to figure all of this out. It was just too confusing and strange. Things were happening again but in a different way. Apparently. This was already so good, yet it was also weird. "You don't have to avoid me over that, you know. It won't...It doesn't mean anything bad. Unless you don't like it." He couldn't help blushing, his face was still bright red. It made him feel really strange at this point.

Not just that? What else was Devan feeling, Caelan almost wondered if he should even let this happen. Or explain any of it. Originally he planned not to but if it was hurting Devan. He wanted to make that pain go away. Somehow make him feel better and so on. If it even worked from there. Who knew, it might just not work anymore. "Devan...I said I wouldn't do this. But...I have something, you don't need to look now. But it might fill a lot of those holes for you. I'll let you decide what you do with it. I just don't ..like seeing you this way. Even if I said I wouldn't get involved." He sighed, and just leaned over to dig into his over night bag. Of course he put it in there. Who wouldn't? After all Caelan wanted to keep him close.

"No that noble messed things up, not you. If you messed things up wouldn't it be obvious?" He just laughed a little bit and looked at him, this was not exactly going to end that well was it. But now he had to wonder just what Devan would say to him. How would he accept that. Caelan knew he might be screwing things up but did this even matter. Things needed to be said if only because it hurting Devan.

He felt weird, showing this to him. It was all weird and not something he wanted to think about. But what could he do? Caelan wasn't good at hiding things when he was put on the spot like this. Which Devan happened to be very very good at. Whether he knew any of that or not, he was very good at it. So right now he just hoped this wouldn't mess too much up. He did not want to hurt him or make him mad. Or any of that. Caelan feared what might happen if Devan remembered, it had been his reason for leaving in the first place. Or well trying to leave since he didn't get very far because of Nate. But for now he was afraid of opening it. "If you are sure...I mean. It's something I didn't know how to show you, or if it was even right to do so." He sighed a bit and just started to open the folder up, and lay everything out on the bed. There was pictures, the other things that had anything to do with him. Caelan had hidden every single sign of the relationship they had. Even gifts or other things they had given to each other.

It had all been to protect Devan and now he felt bad. It wasn't helping him, the boy not remembering any of this had only caused pain. Maybe not death pain but still pain regardless and he hated that. All of it for that matter. But what was he going to do? If the council found out again they'd wipe away his memories too not just Devan's this time. Unless there was a way to make them accept this. But it wasn't likely to happen with how strict those old people were, and the younger new ones had probably been raised. "Well the past is the past now come here, you wanted to look." Also hidden in that envelope were Caelan's research papers but he kept those hidden in the thing still. He didn't need Devan to see them, to see he was hunting for that damn noble.

Even if he had to admit it later. He did not want him to know now. So Caelan tossed the envelope aside and made sure it landed in his bag before just closing it without zipping it up. He had to hope Devan wouldn't ask too many questions but at this point he couldn't be sure what to do or say about it either. "Just look, and I guess I'll explain what I can?" That was all he said as he fiddled with his pants, he was feeling so weird. And he barely knew what to do about this, how could he? He was exposing a big secret to a person who forgot it.

So it was awkward enough just like that.

What could he say? He had showed Devan what he wanted to and yet it still didn't seem right. It more or less seemed really wrong to him, and even more so he wasn't sure what to do about it. Or what he'd end up saying either. After all he knew this was not going to be an easy task. More so for Devan then himself. But he'd get to that road when he did, pretty much. Yet he had to wonder what he was going to say. He felt that Devan might not buy this but did it even matter? With a small sigh he just tried to calm down. His body was feeling a bit weird, like his heart was thudding and someone was trying to get under his skin. Mostly Devan remembering things at that. "These were taken...not too long before that noble attacked you. Well some of them the others are older, But that doesn't matter." He shook his head, Caelan hadn't wanted to talk about this. But it needed to be said. And he knew that much, but how to approach it without hurting Devan. More then he was being hurt right now?

It was not so bad, the pictures they took he had seemed so happy in. And Caelan barely smiled these days, it was hard for him to do so. Of course it had to be before everything happened, and he felt strange about it. So what was he supposed to do. How could he end up trying to make some sense out of this stuff right now. Caelan felt his heart breaking a little as he watched this. But he only chewed his lip and wondered this might end up going. What was he supposed to do? More so what could he even say? It'd probably not end up helping basically. At least at this point, so what could he end up saying right now. Probably not a darn thing. "Look Devan...it's kinda complicated, but seriously...That noble, he did something." Caelan couldn't look directly at him. Not as he was saying this. It stressed him out.

Would he believe him? Or would Devan just think he was lying that these pictures had been faked. Not that he was even smart enough to know how to do that. He was smart but not that smart for those things. He just thought about gathering them up but he shook his head. "Devan if I tell you don't leave...please. You can't go out there that way." That was all he said and this made him feel very awkward. What was he going to do, just seriously what was going to happen to him. At this very moment he did not know what he might even end up finding. Or how Devan would take this either, since it was one of those more complicated matters. Pretty much.

"Just promise me that..." He said as he just waited, and watched him. Wondering just exactly what he'd end up doing. This made him feel a bit confusing, or lost in general.

He should stop so he even thought of starting to put those things away. Wanting to figure out what to do, this made him feel really weird. Caelan had already told Devan what he needed to. Well most of it, the hunting of the noble was still left from the table. He was not about to bring any of that up. Since he basically knew it'd do no good in general. He blinked and looked at him but only gave a small nod. Maybe shutting up would be a good idea. Before he ended up hurting someone or doing something else, he didn't want to make things go bad, or worse. Whichever. "Fine." He seemed to be somewhat back to normal as he spoke, Caelan would give Devan what he needed right now. Even if it wasn't that much, or anything. Who knew, he had a feeling it didn't even matter. Since he already said he didn't want to hear anymore for now.

It'd end up coming up later, and that was probably already hard enough to think about. Not that he wanted to either, no he'd rather just pretend none of it was happening. Sounded pretty simple didn't it? Or so he thought anyway. This in general had made him feel really awkward. Bringing up his feelings and not being shut down was actually so freaking new to him anyway. He only gave a small nod, and attempted to relax. This was not going to be bad. No it'd be alright. Mostly. Though he'd rather not end up thinking about it, or digging into those really awkward perhaps slightly nasty things. Nope he had other ideas in mind, such as just curling up to Devan like they used to before all of this. Sleep sounded so good right now.

"You better, I don't want you to go anywhere Devan...I'm sorry for anything." He just sighed a bit, this was not going to end up helping now was it. For now he had a feeling it'd be mostly be alright. They could work on things, and somehow manage to figure it out. But what was he it going to do. Just where was he going to get himself with these sort of things anyway. So at that moment he'd rather not end up getting dragged back into those things. Bringing his memories back would be another start, but of course for Devan he'd have to do something. He'd have to figure something out at the very least.

"Of course, Let's just go to sleep? I'm really tired..." He sighed a bit, this was already confusing enough but he only leaned to nuzzle against him. At least for now he'd rather end up sleeping for a little while. It'd make him feel really good at least. "They won't get lost anyway...you know." He just moved them over into his bag, and tried to forget about this whole situation. Really it was only managing to stress him out which he didn't like.

He was getting comfy and not hiding behind his overly awkward shield anymore. It'd probably not end up helping him to begin with. Not now, hardly ever basically. Right? At this moment what was he supposed to do. How could he feel? Yet at the same time he'd rather not end up thinking about the too negative things. What was he supposed to do? Just seriously what was he going to do say. Caelan had to hope his boyfriend, no ex boyfriend wouldn't turn him away. He didn't want to be turned away it'd only end up bothering him a whole lot right now. This had made him feel a bit better, but of course Caelan had to wonder just how long Devan would handle him. Just how long would Devan want to be around him before this got too annoying, or something along those lines. Either way he'd rather not get dragged into those things, since it wasn't likely to help him or do them any good either. Right? So seriously just what was he getting into. What was he supposed to do. The boy had a feeling he wasn't doing the best he could.

Had he hurt Devan by telling him? Caelan could only hope he hadn't. So for now he'd rather attempt to relax. At least just a little bit. Probably wouldn't end up working out that well though. This was okay, they'd be just fine, he had to keep remembering that. He had to keep remembering they'd just be alright nothing too bad could end up happening from here basically. Right? That was all he thought. Yet did it even matter. Probably not since it as likely that he knew what to do. Or how Devan might react to things. For now all he was doing was waiting for his friend to react to something, or figure out what to do.

"H-huh? I mean yea sure, you can." He blushed, he would not be against that. If this person wanted to kiss him he'd let Devan do it. He had feelings for that guy and he was not going to change his mind. Basically. This was just one of those moments he'd rather not end up getting dragged back into. For now all he wanted was to get loved, and realize that even if Devan didn't remember he still shared feelings with Caelan as well.

He felt so weird, it was not so bad but for him it was just a bit weird, or strange. Maybe because he never thought he'd feel anything again. Or that Devan might feel anything for him ,but that was life now it seemed. So apparently he needed to figure it out in some other way. Not that it'd end up working. What was he supposed to say? This made Caelan feel so weird, and yet he basically enjoyed all of it. Knowing that someone cared was good enough for him. And he'd try to manage to keep it that way, if only for a little while. Feeling Devan's touches and kisses still sounded really good right now. Why did Devan have to lose his memories? Yes he'd glad that they were probably coming back a little bit. That was just a start for him. Though he'd rather not get dragged into that.

Not focus on those instant negative thoughts once again anyway. It never sounded good to him, for a moment he'd rather just turn on something else instead. Like kissing, feeling Devan and everything else that ended up coming with it at that point anyway. The boy blushed, this whole situation ended up making him feel so awkward. But what good would it even end up doing? Devan might tease him about it. Since that seemed to be so much like a Devan thing. Something he'd do and so on from there really. He didn't fight, even though Caelan could feel the hand under his shirt. It was so weird, to at least know that someone was touching him. Someone he actually wanted to touch him.

The nails grazing against his skin made him squeak and squirm. Caelan wasn't going to make this go awkward, no he'd leave that to Devan. Caelan was only glad to feel someone else touching him. To have someone else he liked be close to him again. At the very least Devan was not going to push him off, simple as that. So far Devan seemed to be slowly acting like he used to. The whole being friends, or well now more then friends thing. Basically. He did not mind being sandwiched, he opened his mouth a little bit to Devan. Let him explore the mouth that so eagerly wanted to have him violate it. Caelan could be deemed such a pervert. But he had missed this, Devan hadn't done this for so long with him.

All he could hope now was that it never ended.

What was he supposed to do? Not pushing him off only seemed natural. After all Caelan was in love, or crushing on someone. Whichever, or whatever they wanted to call this. He'd rather not end up digging back into those odd emotions anyway. It did not seem like a good idea at all. To feel this way again, he never thought it'd happen. He figured he'd always end up being alone, and yet this was not the case. Go figure. Just what was he supposed to say? If he didn't make this go the right way then he'd only have to deal with being alone. He had to wonder if Devan would completely remember or actually try to stay with him this time basically. He hoped that his ex-boyfriend would. Even if they weren't dating now he did not actually want to end up losing him. It'd be really horrible if that happened. Caelan didn't know what to do, he almost had a feeling this wouldn't end well.

Maybe Devan wouldn't like him when this was done. Maybe. But he had to hope it wasn't true basically. Since that was not likely going to do him any good from here. He'd already voiced a few things he never thought he would. After all he was gay, he was never going to be straight. Simple as that really. Now that he was thinking about those small things in a stronger detail at least. What was he supposed to feel at this point? It made him already seem really awkward. Since his chest was like dancing, or something. All he knew so far was that his heart seemed to keep on skipping a beat or two which he'd rather not deal with. He'd rather not get back into that stuff, since it wasn't likely to end that well for him.

Or both of them. Would they even get back together? Probably not. He was not entirely sure what to do about this, or where to go even. It might just end up confusing him instead, or stressing both of them out. For that moment he just tried to calm down and keep from laughing once again. Caelan was still stuck in this kiss like form, feeling the lips against his, and those hands going under his shirt. "Shh enough with that sorry talk, we don't need to rush into things you know it'll be just fine to take things slow, at least for a little while right?" He asked as he moved to run his fingers through Devan's hair again. This wasn't bad, it felt pretty much good and he'd be alright. Hopefully, they'd both just manage to be alright and figure this out instead.

He wouldn't stop him. But for now he wanted to keep Devan safe and happy.