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Cae
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Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
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Post by Caelan Rochester on May 23, 2014 23:56:51 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need Caelan felt lost, did Devan seriously remember something. For him to do that he needed to have feelings. Right? This made him feel really weird, but he wouldn't mind this. Mostly. He just didn't want Devan to leave him as he grabbed onto his arm. The boy had been acting completely on instinct. Seeing him walk away actually hurt, a lot at that. He could still fee the blush on his face. Why did this have to happen? Seriously it was already weird enough for him to deal with this, or figure it out in some weird way. Caelan did not know if he was truly able to be prepared for this stuff. After all it did seem to be quite complicated to begin with. "Devan please don't...Don't walk away from me again." He couldn't handle that, the boy would not be able to. He already knew his ex didn't remember him which was hard enough. Having him walk away. Well that truly was not any better.
He just clung to his arm, and then didn't let him go. This was not something he wanted to deal with. It'd probably end up causing a few issues here. Yet once again he barely knew what to do. Caelan just found himself nuzzling Devan then glancing up at him. "Please...don't go. Please..." He mumbled over and over again as he just hoped Devan would trust him for once. Though what could he say, how could Caelan handle this. It probably made this whole situation all the more awkward anyway. So far yes he had noticed that he wasn't speaking. But no this was not something he wanted to think about. Not right now anyway. At least for a little while he'd figure this would be alright.
Caelan couldn't help being curious about what Devan was feeling. Basically this was already so foreign for him. And yet he almost didn't know what to say. It made him feel a tad bad tired, worn out and everything. Maybe taking his ex back to the room might be a better idea. Since he knew by now Devan was tired. Or something. Right? So what was he going to say? "Let's just get you back to the room okay?" He hoped that he'd agree. Since if he didn't Caelan might really feel bad. |
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Devan
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Post by Devan Cross on May 24, 2014 0:18:58 GMT -9
 His spine felt like jello. Caelan's touch made him uneasy, but he was unable to speak still. Though the words that came from the boy were somewhat surprising -considering what had just happened. Caelan didn't seem mad at all, but instead tolerant, accepting. Why? Devan wondered why he was okay with this. When he'd done such an inappropriate thing, shouldn't he be mad? The proposal to head back to their room was greatly accepted by Devan, though he realized he had no idea how on earth he was going to exist with Caelan in close proximity now. He had been so awkward before but this incident was making things so much worse. He wanted to tell Caelan that he had kissed him the other day, that it hadn't been a dream, even if it made him come off as a complete liar. "Okay." He said, subsiding to the boy's wishes. This time, he didn't take the lead. If Caelan didn't want him to walk off, than he wouldn't. He felt bad enough already for being such an inconvenience to him. He didn't want to make matters worse by being to forceful, because that wasn't how he felt. Devan wasn't in the mood anymore. He felt dead, tired, and useless. @ caelan || be happy cally. devan demands it
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Day Class
Cae
IS OFFLINE
17
Years
Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
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Post by Caelan Rochester on May 24, 2014 0:29:12 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need What could he say right now, it'd probably not end up helping. Caelan and Devan had said the wrong things. Which he almost didn't like. Right now he had a feeling it might not work. Would Devan try to ignore him? Or would he not? That was truly something Caelan wished wouldn't happen. Since he didn't like the idea of that man avoiding him. Not again after what had happened before basically. So why wasn't he speaking. That really confused him but of course he didn't talk about it. All he did was give a small nod. They did need to go by now it'd be for the best. Even if he was stressed out just ever so slightly. The nervous nature that was going through his body had never truly been helpful basically. He almost didn't know what Devan was up to, or why he seemed so silent.
Yea the kiss might do it but was that all? "Come on, don't lag behind." He smiled as he spoke, though the blush was starting to get a lot darker. He almost didn't know how to handle it. Like this was even any good to him. Apparently he already had a bit of an awkward thoughts going through his head. After all he kissed someone or well no they kissed him. But Caelan didn't mind it and Devan seemed so weird. Seemed like he was thinking over this way too much apparently. Strange as it was really Caelan needed to try and understand this. It might not help but that was all he could do.
He only gave a small nod then dragged him along as they walked back to the dorm. He made sure to check on it, and unlock the door before letting him walk in. Devan and Caelan both probably needed rest, but Caelan was more concerned with Devan. "You should get changed...and such, if you need to." He mumbled as he shut the dorm room door behind them. But would Devan listen to him? Probably not that boy was such a stubborn little boy sometimes and it annoyed Caelan. |
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Post by Devan Cross on May 24, 2014 0:44:59 GMT -9
He didn't complain or say a word the entire walk to their room. He just followed, and kept his eyes down so Caelan wouldn't see them glisten over as the silence persisted. He hated it, ironically, Devan hated the silence but he still couldn't bring himself to say anything. He was so lost and confused, even more now than he had before kissing his best friend. Doing that had made matters worse, when he thought that it might help fix things, or at least solve the feelings in his heart. However, that single kiss made their whole relationship so much more complicated. As Caelan opened the door Devan walked inside slowly. He heard the boy's suggestion, but he didn't listen. He didn't have the energy to even try and take his clothes off, and his shoes were the only thing that he could remove easily enough. He kicked off his sneakers at the foot of his bed, dropped Caelan's bag in front of his bedside table, and sat down on his mattress. He stared down at the wood paneling in the floor for a few seconds, then turned and slumped into bed. He didn't want Caelan to think that he was ignoring him, because he had still been listening, but words wouldn't form even now that they were in the privacy of their room. However, it did prompt something else to form. Devan closed his eyes promptly as wet drops filled his green hues. Though it was too late. The moment he shut his lids a pair of wet drops slid down his cheek and across his nose. He was beyond thankful that he was facing the wall, but it took all his might not to shudder or sniffle. He didn't want Caelan to notice. He couldn't let that happen too. @ caelan || its almost cute, how depressed he seems
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Day Class
Cae
IS OFFLINE
17
Years
Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
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Post by Caelan Rochester on May 24, 2014 5:46:11 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need The silence was strange, but he should be used to it. Silence was silence, Caelan didn't entirely get what was happening either. Was Devan getting his memories back? Probably not it did not honestly seem very logical now did it? Not at this point but of course for both of them they needed to somehow figure it all out. At least for a little while anyway. That kiss still lingered, and Caelan wanted to forget but like that'd end up working. At least for right now maybe? He wasn't certain. Devan's constant silence wasn't even helping either by now. That was all. This made him feel so strange, so out of place at that. And he did not even know how to handle it. What was he going to do? Caelan and Devan shared a kiss, a couple like kiss not a friendly one. So it was strange. Made him feel all weird. Like he had butterflies in his stomach as they walked back to the dorm room. Not a word was shared, and he felt that Devan might be mad. Or just ignoring him again.
But no he'd leave that alone for now. Since it wasn't likely to do any good, he'd probably only end up getting majorly stressed out by this point, right? This had to be something they needed to figure out eventually. Yes it was probably not easy but they could handle it right? At least he thought they could. Caelan wasn't always one to look at the positives of things, but he was actually trying this time. They had to give him that, he was truly trying to actually help them out here basically. Well mostly Devan. He was so tired though, so tired of fighting. Of making things even the slightest bit difficult. That was all. So for now he'd need to figure this out. On his own even if his ex didn't help him. Devan might be getting his memories back? At least that was what he believed right now.
Caelan went over to his own bed and just stayed there. Putting his knees up to his chest. This was not so awkward, actually that was a lie. This was seriously very awkward. And he didn't have a clue how to fix it. What if he got hurt? Or worse Devan got hurt. That couldn't be something he'd be able to handle. Not now, not ever. Just no it wasn't going to happen, simple as that really. He just looked at Devan and sighed. Maybe it'd best if he left the room. Caelan felt something wasn't right here but like Devan would tell him a thing. That was just never something he did lately it seemed. The boy only stood back up and put a blanket around Devan's shoulders before walking to the other side of the room. As much as he wanted to hold onto him it just didn't happen.
No he needed to figure something else out. But what could he do? Caelan was trying to figure out his thoughts, and he felt that Devan might not want him to be around. |
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Post by Devan Cross on May 24, 2014 10:57:20 GMT -9
Caelan was being so quiet, though he didn't expect much else. It was Caelan after all, and it wasn't as if he above all people was the most talkative between them, but still he assumed that the boy would say something. When he didn't it just left Devan with more inquiries and things to think about. How much had he screwed up this time? He could only equate it to the vampire slip up a few weeks ago, but that was simply Devan being over dramatic. However, the fear he felt was real. He was so paranoid that he'd completely lost Caelan now, that he was still very much paying attention to the boy's every move behind him. Therefore, when he felt him come closer and noted the blanket being rested at his shoulders he pushed and pushed until he forced himself to speak. Even though Caelan had moved over just to the other side of the room, he had still panicked, thinking that he was just leaving him here period. Whether this was the case or not that wasn't what Devan wanted. "Where are you going?" He asked, his voice obviously shaken, and so clearly giving away what he'd been hiding. Devan opened his eyes and lifted his hand to wipe away the wet drops that were sliding onto his pillow. All he saw was the wall, and it gave him little to no comfort. "Don't leave Caelan." He nearly said he was sorry then, but he just couldn't bring himself to say it yet. Not until he had the chance to calm himself down first. Otherwise his words wouldn't sound sincere at all. @ caelan || notes
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Day Class
Cae
IS OFFLINE
17
Years
Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
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Post by Caelan Rochester on May 24, 2014 16:23:42 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need What was he going to do? Not a damn thing, really Caelan couldn't do anything. He already felt really stuck here, really out of place. And away from things he didn't want to deal with. Or well no he was afraid of hurting Devan with them. That had been the main issue here at this point, now that he was thinking about it. This whole thing felt awkward enough to him. He wished he could somehow make it all go away. But as if that'd end up working. Right? Since he already felt in such an awkward place. One of those places where there might be no escape basically. Yet at this moment Caelan worried, how was Devan's health. Was he really okay? Had that jarred some memories loose. Or was the kiss just a kiss to stop him from leaving. Or to do something. He didn't know, but it was throwing his emotions for a solid loop and a half or more.
He almost didn't have a clue about this. Awkward things had happened, not just to him but to both of them. And he wasn't entirely sure how Devan might take this. Did he want to know how he might take this? Would it worry him if it wasn't taken properly. Maybe. But either way he'd have to figure this out in due time. Simple thought as that really, at least at this point anyway. He had a feeling his stress levels were already really awkward. Really over his limit but he'd manage to somehow figure it out. If that was even possible at this point in time. "What? No where jeez, I'm just gonna be right over there." He wouldn't pick on him even if it did sound fun right now. Which so far he might not be so sure what to do about that. Not right now anyway.
"I'm not going to leave but you need rest. You know that, now go to sleep." He didn't sigh, no he just settled down against Devan's bed and looked up at him. If he was at least somewhat close would Devan actually sleep. Yes it was still to be seen but he couldn't help being curious at this point. He just wanted to make sure his friend actually got some sleep, no matter what had happened. Gay or not, the kiss or not. None of it mattered right now. And of course he was not about to dwell on it either. So Devan shouldn't.
Yet he was also not sure Devan would go to sleep yet. Devan could be quite the stubborn person when he wanted to be. |
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Devan
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Bisexual
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Post by Devan Cross on May 24, 2014 21:58:07 GMT -9
He didn't know how he should feel about Caelan not leaving their room, but in truth he was in fact glad. He sniffled, forgetting himself for a moment. He shrugged his shoulders to move the blanket high up, and simply stared at the wall across from him, listening. Was Caelan mad? The way he spoke made it seem like he was, at least some what, but how did he really feel. What was the boy thinking? Devan wished he was a mind reader just so he wouldn't have to ask. When he felt Caelan sit down on his bed, his entire form stiffened slightly. His heart thudded just as his temples throbbed, and he winced as a headache stirred in his brain. Why? Why was he still feeling this way? Devan listened to his friend, but kept quiet at first, until he couldn't contain himself anymore. Another pair of tears slid across his nose without his permission, before his lips could part. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry what I did to you." It sounded so vague, but he knew that Caelan would understand what he meant. He didn't think that he would be able to sleep, but he did feel exhausted. It had been a few days since he slept decently at all. It hadn't helped when Caelan hadn't been around. His precense alone usually put Devan at ease. "You're not mad at me are you?.."@ caelan || notes
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Day Class
Cae
IS OFFLINE
17
Years
Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
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Post by Caelan Rochester on May 24, 2014 22:16:02 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need This was strange enough, and yet he didn't know what to say. Right now it'd probably not end up making things a lot easier for him. So what was he going to do, it wasn't like Caelan knew how to handle this. He wasn't exactly good at handling things when he messed up. Or strange situations happened basically. Strange enough really at this point. Yet he had to wonder what Devan was doing. At least at this point he knew they were trying to get somewhere. It might be a confusing to be honest, if he wanted to be more or less. Caelan would not end up telling him anything, his feelings were best left unsaid and hidden. Basically. This had to be just how things were. So now what could he do? Caelan had leaned back on his bed, looking at Devan. He only hoped he'd get some sleep.
"Do I look like it bothered me? Devan, really let it go. There is no reason to apologize you just get some rest. That's all I want for you right now." Well not all of it, he wanted Devan to remember what he was feeling. This already confused him a lot,but he knew he loved this man. He still had those feelings he couldn't hide even if he actually wanted to. Right? Yes he knew what his ex wanted, and what he meant. But that didn't mean he approved of it or thought about it. None of that mattered to him. It'd probably just end up being the same thing basically. He just reached over to run his fingers through Devan's hair. "No I'm not but I will be if you don't get some sleep." He would not change his mind on that, okay well maybe he would. If only because he wanted to. And he didn't want to make Devan upset. Making him upset just didn't sound like a good idea.
Mainly because of Caelan's caring nature towards him probably. That would truly manage to bring things to him, and also cause a few other things to happen at the same time anyway. "I don't want to be mad at you, and I won't be. Just rest for me? Okay." He sighed a bit and then looked at him. Maybe this was not so bad, but at the same time he wasn't so sure. Not like he knew entirely what might happen. Things were pretty awkward regardless, and they did try to deal with. But kisses, touches and such? That made it all kinda stranger and he didn't know what to do about that. Caelan would let it go for now. At least for awhile.
If only Devan slept peacefully for once. |
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Post by Devan Cross on May 24, 2014 22:32:22 GMT -9
Caelan's fingers in his hair calmed his spirit. He suddenly became submissive, shutting his eyes and just letting him do as he pleased. The touch was comforting, and felt nice. However even this confused Devan. He was still so baffled as to why he was allowing him any of this close contact, but he was selfish and secretly he wanted it despite the fact that he was trying to keep to himself after what he'd done. However, at Caelan's latter dialogue he couldn't help but to question him why. Devan sat up lazily, pushing himself up slowly. He turned his cheek so he could wipe the wetness from his features before he glanced over at Caelan. Though it was obvious that he had been crying. His eyes were red. "Why aren't you mad at me? I kissed you..and we're both boys, friends." He didn't want to be rude, and he wasn't trying to be, but he was simply curious. "Are you.." Gay? It was a word Devan couldn't say aloud. It would mean that he was admitting that he was too, but he didn't believe that he was. He found girls attractive...but when he thought about it there were a lot of things he liked about Caelan too. This was so completely confusing he didn't know what to think anymore. Though there was one thing he knew for certain. Devan didn't care if Caelan was gay, straight, or whatever else. He didn't entirely know how to define himself, but Caelan would always and forever be his best friend. That would never change, no matter what his sexuality, despite how it might shock him -as much as he was surprised by himself as well. @ caelan || notes
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Day Class
Cae
IS OFFLINE
17
Years
Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
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Post by Caelan Rochester on May 24, 2014 22:47:22 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need He only wanted to make him feel better at least, that was all. Even if Caelan didn't feel right. He had messed up, he was so stupid. To thin he'd ever get what he had before, Devan was no longer gay. Devan didn't know what Caelan was feeling and that was really for the best. It made him feel a bit confused. Right now what was he going to do? Would he end up messing up, or making this whole thing worse basically. For now all he'd be able to do was glance at him. Even if it probably didn't mean much to Devan right now. What was he going to say? It seemed that Devan did have something to say after all. Not like he'd end up telling him no or shoving him off basically. That didn't sound good for Caelan right now, though his fingers did fall from the boy's hair.
"Because I'm just not. You wouldn't understand..." He tried to get him to realize this, but it was probably not going to end up helping either. Not right now. Either way he certainly felt confused. Lost or something along those lines right. It might not be bad, but it might not be good. Either way he felt that he was not exactly in the best area, or the best time for any of this. Yes he was gay, yes he was a fuck up. As so many people probably thought. Yet he'd rather not think about that sort of thing. "Yes...Devan I'm gay. But you like girls, so that kiss was just...a random thing wasn't it?" Caelan's voice threatened to crack. He couldn't handle this much. He promised he wouldn't leave Devan but his chest suddenly ached. He loved that feeling, the lips on his. It was already strange enough for him to know Devan would never remember him.
"Maybe you have a crush on a girl who is...nevermind. Just try to get some sleep okay?" Caelan just wanted to run away, he was trying to keep his emotions from bubbling over. The hunters didn't accept him being gay. He had to deal with that, he had to deal with the comments when they found out he was that way. So he kept it from Devan, kept Devan hidden from that. With Devan's memories gone they wouldn't get anything from Devan. No doubt they were told to keep quiet and not say a darn word. Probably for the best anyway. Now that he was thinking about that sort of thing.
This was bothering him. It made him feel the need to break down but instead he just smiled. |
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Devan
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Post by Devan Cross on May 24, 2014 23:45:05 GMT -9
The more Caelan talked the more he grew concerned. Caelan didn't sound right. For someone that was confessing his sexuality, one that was taboo to a culture they came from, it should have been expected that Cael act a bit..anxious, but this was more. He seemed really upset. Devan frowned, his eyes watching his friend closely as he listened to his words and tried to read his gestures. He wasn't happy seeing this boy this way, and even more so that he was speaking for him. Devan had a mouth of his own, he didn't want Caelan to voice his thoughts. "Don't speak for me Caelan. That kiss..." He couldn't believe he'd just admitted it, and was bringing it up again, but he had to let out his thoughts before Caelan twisted them even further. "It wasn't because I have a crush on a girl. Do you realize how stupid that sounds?" Devan scooted closer to him, so they'd be face to face and across from each other where Cael would have to look at him no matter what. "I don't care if you're gay."Caelan's smile still meant very little when he spoke like this. Devan could tell that he was faking it already and it just made him more upset. Then the feeling arose in him again. The urge to lean in, closer. He actually thought through his actions this time, and regardless of the consequences he decided to act on his feelings once more. Devan leaned in closer to Caelan, slowly at first -as he didn't want to scare him. If he didn't move away, he'd raise his right hand, his finger tips grazing against the boy's temple as his lips gently brushed against Caelan's. He still felt that hot feeling in his chest, the twist in his stomach that made him feel energized and comforted. He couldn't explain why this felt so right. Devan took slow incremented steps, but he was letting himself go, testing the waters. His other hand raised, moving to Caelan's hip, as he deepened the kiss just a fraction. @ caelan || notes
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Day Class
Cae
IS OFFLINE
17
Years
Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
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Post by Caelan Rochester on May 25, 2014 6:10:42 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need Caelan didn't even know what to do. Shutting up might be a good place to start. But like it'd actually do him any good. At least not right now, he felt as if he was not in the best state of mind either. It might just not get any better but he'd have to learn to deal with it. Somehow at the very least. He wanted to hope that Devan was not going to push him but at that same moment it didn't seem likely to even begin to work. Of course he wasn't happy, this made him not happy. Devan had no memory of the time they spent together so it upset him. A lot at that. Though he'd rather keep his mouth shut and not drag attention to those things anyway. Since it wasn't likely to help matters either at this point. "What was it? Devan really what was it?" He had to ask, and now this made him a bit confused. Did Devan have feelings for him again? Had he just not forgotten them? It was so strange.
He wanted to break down, just let all his emotions out but had that ever worked so well. He could be entirely certain he even knew what was going on here. If anything he might be just making someone mad apparently. What would Devan say? He didn't entirely know what his ex was thinking, right now they weren't together. They'd never end up being together and he needed to put up with it basically. At this point what was he supposed to do? It'd probably not end up helping or anything but oh well he'd have to deal with it. Somehow. Since this was all he needed, and all he wanted. Caelan wished he could get his boyfriend to listen. Well his ex boyfriend to listen to him, then remember him. After all of that it'd be alright wouldn't it? Or at least he hoped it would have, so far though probably not.
He only shrugged, Caelan honestly wasn't sure what to do about this? Just how was he supposed to handle all of this stuff. It wasn't like it had been his strong point or ever would be his strong point for that matter. Right? At least at this point he didn't feel as if things would get that bad. He had spoken of his feelings before, though he didn't plan on doing it now. Why bother? It'd probably only get really really awkward for him. And if he wanted to be honest he did not wish to ruin those things either. It'd never give him any luck at this point. "You actually don't care? Your reactions said differently you know. But if you don't care and that kiss wasn't just random then what was it?" Caelan was shaky, lost and ten other things. But he didn't pull away from Devan. No he relaxed into the touch and learned to enjoy every minute of it. The feeling of Devan's lips brushing against his.
It was weird, and it sent that electricity feeling through him all over again. Not that it was bad. No this felt good to him, more then he'd like to admit but no one needed to know that. Those details were already pretty out there now that he was thinking about it. Caelan couldn't help letting his mind go back to those times. When Devan knew that they had dated and so on. |
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Post by Devan Cross on May 25, 2014 9:53:29 GMT -9
He wondered still why Caelan wasn't stopping him, but it was only really then that he had officially realized...His friend had a crush on him. How on Earth had he not noticed? Devan thought that he was so keen to Caelan's feelings, at least seventy percent of the time. He was so difficult to read on occasion, he wondered then if that must have attributed to the other thirty percent. How long had Caelan been hiding this from him? This was why Caelan wasn't pushing him off. It made sense now. Devan had never meant to hurt this person, but little by little he was beginning to realize that he truly had. For all the moments he had brushed off, it must have made Caelan feel like he didn't even care. He felt his chest burn, with an emptiness and something more, immense agony. When he deepened the kiss he felt like he'd been run over by a truck. He hurt all over and couldn't explain why. However, his mind attempted to do the work for him, it only caused more pain than not. Flashes of, what he thought were dreams, flickered behind his closed lids. Where everything had once been back he could practically see the both of them, together. The lake, his parents house, and inside his truck, but it all ended with the incident and the vampire. Devan couldn't take it anymore, and removed his lips from Caelan's. He rested his forehead against the boy's shoulder, unable to look him directly in the eye after what had just happened to him. He felt sick to his stomach, nauseous, and horrified. He was practically shaking but that was only part of his awakening. Whatever tears had dried up returned then, and poured without hindrance. "W-What the fuck happened?" He said, choking up and shuddering. He shook his head once, against Caelan's shoulder as his left hand attached to the boy's shirt at his waist, and the other at his shoulder. He was holding onto him for some form of comfort though he didn't expect Caelan to do anything for him. He deserved to feel this utterly miserable. It didn't occur to him yet that what he saw were memories, but he was slowly attempting to connect the dots, while wet drops fell from his eyes and onto his friends shirt. @ caelan || super sad..and cheesy.
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Day Class
Cae
IS OFFLINE
17
Years
Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
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Post by Caelan Rochester on May 25, 2014 10:27:00 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need He should have stopped, but Caelan couldn't bring himself to do that. He wanted something that Devan had done on his own will, and that was what this was. What this had been. Basically. He would not complain though Caelan had to wonder just how far would he go? Did Devan have any idea what he was doing? Or what he might cause. The past was supposed to stay dead and buried. But like it'd truly work out that easily. Nothing left forever, even if a person didn't talk about it those feelings and thoughts were always there. It almost worried Caelan yet he kept all of that to himself. To always be hiding things, it just hurt his body and made him feel sick. So on and so forth really. Though now he had to wonder if it even mattered. The noble had failed, Devan kissed Caelan not once but twice in a matter of a few hours. And Caelan from his knowledge hadn't done a darn thing.
He couldn't push him off, not now. This had been something he wanted, something he wished to feel for so long. Just to have that again. Caelan almost feared it'd just be a dream if he let it go suddenly. Right? So what was he truly going to say about that, at least for now. This didn't feel strange to him. No it felt right because he still had his memories. He never lost them like Devan did. It explained why he found things so hard sometimes. And he almost didn't know how to handle them entirely it was a bit confusing and honestly majorly painful for him. Pretty much basically at this point, how could he handle this. Would it even do him the slightest bit of good? Probably not, but honestly who cared. Devan had made him feel wanted again, and in a good way. Not one of those awkward bad ways that he saw so often.
Right now he could only blink at him ,what was Devan thinking about? What was going through his mind, maybe this wasn't a good idea. But he refused to stop. He only moved his hand to run his fingers through Devan's hair. Why did he seem so worried? Or confused even. It truly was a strange thing, and he didn't entirely know how to handle this or figure things out either. Since it wasn't likely to do him a whole lot of good. Devan didn't usually act that way unless he felt sick or something along those lines. It was never something he wanted to think about. Would it end up improving at all, probably not. But he'd just learn to deal. He could only keep trying to calm his ex boyfriend down again. And find out what was going on with him at the same time.
"What are you talking about Devan?" He just tried to calm him down, though would it even end up working. So far he had a feeling it was not going to. But what could he even do? This was not exactly his comfort zone. Was probably not supposed to at that probably. But whatever. He'd rather just leave this alone even if it wasn't bound to help very much. He wondered how Devan felt what was he going through. Something seemed to have clicked in his head for him to be crying. All Caelan wanted to do was end up making it stop. But could he end up actually doing any of that? He wasn't so good at it now that they weren't dating.
He didn't know what Devan was thinking or if he remembered anything but he had to remember with how he was acting. |
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