Day Class
Cae
IS OFFLINE
17
Years
Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
146 POSTS & 0 LIKES
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Post by Caelan Rochester on Jul 8, 2014 12:55:57 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need Caelan didn't understand, he had tried to. He really had but Caelan knew he couldn't. He didn't lose his memories, he still had them. And Devan couldn't understand Caelan either. He had no idea what Caelan was feeling or how big those missing pieces were. If having a hollow part in his heart had been a disease maybe he'd be dead by now. But he didn't say that, he only forced a laugh. Even he could hear how bitter it sounded, it meant nothing. And he knew it. He felt weird, like his emotions were out of whack right now. All he could do was laugh again and stick his tongue out at Devan. "Just shut up." He said with that force again as he pulled back from the kiss. It didn't feel the same and it was bothering Caelan. But he didn't show anything other then a sad expression for a few seconds.
It was probably his fault. He asked Devan out the first time. He made the mistake of even announcing he felt something for someone. But he'd laugh every day from then if it kept Devan happy. That was all he thought about right now. The boy only tried to remove Devan's pants still, his eyes were focused on that. He knew how stupid he was to think he'd get anything. Or he'd love anyway. People only wanted to hurt him, or hurt the people around him so he would ignore it. He could stop these feelings once Devan shoved him off. "What?" He asked as he focused on trying to get them off. Till the hand touched his wrist. He knew Devan was going to stop him. Caelan should have known and it only made him close his eyes.
"I knew it...I won't do it. Let go of my wrist." And when Devan didn't instantly let go, Caelan tried to bite him. Caelan wanted to keep it from hurting, he just wanted Devan to let him go. He wouldn't look directly at him. His bangs instantly shadowed his eyes as he laughed to himself. The laughed sounded hollow to him, why was it that when he was drunk his hurt came out. Caelan knew what to never do again. "I'm going to the bathroom.." He said as he tried to get off of the bed if Devan let him go. Though he had a feeling Devan wouldn't let him. He knew that Devan wanted what he wanted. And Caelan was pushing this too much. He hated the memories, they made him want it back again.
Maybe if he could find that noble, he'd be able to forget too. They'd still be friends but the romantic feelings would be gone and Caelan could have his life back. And Devan didn't need to feel that thing anymore. He wanted to know why Devan stopped him though. But he refused to ask, he only looked up at Devan and smiled. Ignoring the moisture at the corners of his eyes. He could feel his eyes hurt like he wanted to do something. But he was a hunter, hunters drunk or not didn't show anything. |
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Day Class
Devan
IS OFFLINE
18
Years
Old
Hunter
Bisexual
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Post by Devan Cross on Jul 8, 2014 13:24:21 GMT -9
 He knew it? He knew what? Devan was confused, and it showed on his expression as he looked up at the boy, but he didn't let go of him, even after he asked. "No." Devan spoke after a long pause from him, and intentionally held onto him tighter. Caelan's wrists were surprisingly small. Devan knew that between them, even though Caelan was a strong fighter, he could easily overpower him with raw strength. The laughter bothered him, a lot. It was hollow and pathetic. Devan knew that he was just faking it and that bothered him even more. It was as if Caelan was lying to him, and he wanted him to stop. When the boy tried biting him, Devan narrowed his eyes and pushed himself into a proper sitting position. He jerked his hand back but refused to let go of Caelan's wrist still. It was as if he were glued to him and he couldn't let go, but rather he wouldn't, and when Cael tried to dismiss himself to the bathroom Devan took action before he could even attempt to get up. He tugged Caelan by the wrist so he'd be forced by the momentum to fall back onto the bed. Moving onto his knees Devan swiftly pushed him down so he could use his weight to his advantage and pin Caelan beneath him where he couldn't try to get up. He expelled an uneven sigh, and looked directly at the boy as he pressed the boy's wrist into the mattress beside his head. "I thought we'd stopped trying to avoid each other." He said, his own voice sounding shaken and upset, but it didn't match the concern in his features. "...I'm sorry Cally. I didn't mean to make you mad at me." Or at least that was what he assumed. Caelan was mad. Why else would he try to get up and avoid him this way. He felt horrible. @ caelan ||
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Day Class
Cae
IS OFFLINE
17
Years
Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
146 POSTS & 0 LIKES
|
Post by Caelan Rochester on Jul 8, 2014 13:46:55 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need Devan didn't understand did he, Caelan was trying to get him to understand. Without opening up too much about it. His life was bothering him, and he missed Devan too. He wanted things to go back to the way they were before. "What do you mean no?" He huffed, Caelan was still drunk but he knew he couldn't get away. Devan was not going to let him. He should have already figured this out in another way. At least for now. "I'm not avoiding you...I feel like you hate me. I want what we had." He felt his voice shaking as he started to cry, he could feel the water falling from his eyes. They were not going to stop. The boy was being a bit of a baby but he didn't know what to do. Devan had made him drink and his emotions were struggling with that. He couldn't take feeling on the outside of this.
It bothered him a lot. "Don't leave me alone...Please Devan. I don't want to go away from you. Even for this stupid hunter thing." He was speaking things he didn't understand. Being pinned underneath Devan only made him scared. But Caelan didn't show it, he was already crying. The emotions were seriously horrible. He only looked at him, and let his hands move away from his eyes. His eyes were reflecting that sparkle again, the sign that he'd been crying but they weren't red yet. "Devan..I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you dammit. I feel sick of this. Why do we have to be apart? I don't like it." What else could he do. Already now he needed to voice his opinions. At least for a little while. Though would it do him any good.
He felt that he was probably not helping. He couldn't move, and even if he could he would not have tried. Simple as that really. He sighed lightly and tried to calm down. Though his eyes were still watering. The lines obvious in his cheeks. He didn't like feeling as if he was alone. And Caelan covered it up a lot more then people ever needed to know. At least right now. Caelan didn't know how to handle his emotions. Not right now. So this was already complicated.
He only wished that Devan would understand him eventually. Somehow. |
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Day Class
Devan
IS OFFLINE
18
Years
Old
Hunter
Bisexual
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Post by Devan Cross on Jul 8, 2014 14:12:11 GMT -9
Hate? That was a strong word. They'd been friends since they were kids. They hardly ever fought back then, but even when they did they still made up with each other. They were inseparable, and because of this even now Devan could never even picture being without Caelan. He thought that the boy felt the same way, and it was because of this that his words truly shocked him, but the tears had even more. Devan stared down at him, eyes sightly widening as he watched Caelan tear up and begin to sob beneath him. He realized how badly he'd screwed up in that moment, and it made his chest hurt. To think he'd be the cause of this. He wanted to make Caelan stop, but he wasn't even sure what to say to try. Caelan, despite his tears, was actually making Devan feel all the more embarrassed and flustered. He seemed so scared. This wasn't normal. Caelan never acted this way, but it was...it was actually really cute. Perhaps he was a sadist for thinking that, but he couldn't help it. Caelan had never confessed to him like this, from what memory he had. He felt special, wanted. He'd apparently been worried about the wrong things before, and he hoped to correct the mistake. Devan grabbed Caelan's free hand, and moved it away from his face so he could see him. The tears were a sign in and of themselves that this boy cared. Devan simply hadn't realized how much until now. He leaned down slowly, closing his eyes as he kissed the boy on the forehead. "I would never leave you alone." Or at least he'd never planned on it. If anything he feared that Caelan would be the one to leave and venture on his own path. "And I could never hate you." He leaned away only so he could look at Caelan directly once more, but while staring down at that teary eyed face he couldn't help but smirk at him faintly. He wasn't trying to pick on him but he was simply too adorable even for Devan to handle. Before Caelan could complain about it though, he leaned down to kiss him on the lips this time. @ caelan ||
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Day Class
Cae
IS OFFLINE
17
Years
Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
146 POSTS & 0 LIKES
|
Post by Caelan Rochester on Jul 8, 2014 14:39:03 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need He just felt a bit tense, it wasn't too shocking now was it? The way he felt made him really weird. However he'd rather not think about those things. Simple as that really, what was he supposed to do. Caelan wondered if Devan was going to get angry with him, or at least had something going through his head. So far though he seemed calm enough? He seemed hurt in a different way but not out of the bad things. He felt that he'd be okay. That nothing too bad would end up happening to the both of them. With a small sigh he tried to relax, but the tears and small hiccups from crying started to appear again. He felt like a child again. Caelan hadn't exactly cried since he turned ten. He grew up a lot faster then he should have. But was that even important right now. Probably not.
None of this was normal, he had started to cry. And he had showed his emotions. But no of course he didn't like any of it. What was he supposed to do. How far would he be able to go? It'd probably not end up mattering in the long run, but at the same time he didn't know what might happen to him. He wondered what other people would say. So what if they liked each other. Caelan refused to let Devan go as much as he said sometimes he could. It would be impossible for him to even do those things anyway. The fact that he was still crying even when he tried to speak only made this harder. But whatever he'd have to deal with it eventually.
No matter how much he didn't want to deal with his feelings. The things going on in his head might not be the very best but he still wanted to enjoy feeling something. At least for a little while. Maybe now Devan would make him feel better. "O-oh well you seem to be. Nevermind it's stupid! but I don't want you to leave me alone ever...Even if we have to stop this hunter thing." He wanted to whimper ,but for now he'd keep his mouth shut. It'd be for the best if he didn't say too much right now. "I'm sorry..." He mumbled again and tried not to whimper more. His tears weren't fading but he was trying to do his best.
He wanted to know what he thought. Did he love him? Or did he not? |
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Day Class
Devan
IS OFFLINE
18
Years
Old
Hunter
Bisexual
125 POSTS & 0 LIKES
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Post by Devan Cross on Jul 8, 2014 15:21:36 GMT -9
Devan could feel the boy's wet tears graze his own cheek as he kissed him. He was crying a lot, and it made him wonder if he'd just been holding it in all this time for his sake. Poor Caelan. He should have noticed before it could come to this. After a long lingering moment, Devan parted from the boy's lips and reluctantly let go of one of his hands. He wasn't as afraid that Caelan would try to run away anymore, but still, he didn't want to let go of his wrist. "Don't apologize." It wasn't necessary for him to. Devan's free hand lifted, his fingertips grazing against the boy's cheek as he wiped away his tears. Caelan really was crying like a child, but he still couldn't deny that it was adorable in a way. "I didn't mean to make you this upset." Obviously it wasn't just because he'd denied him sex, but surely that hadn't helped either. "Please try to calm down Cally." Devan cooed, practically whispering into the boy's hear as he moved his lips to his neck this time. He was careful, extremely careful not to hurt him. He stuck to the opposite side of his injury, pressing his lips to the boy's flesh and kissing him gently in hopes of calming him down some. He cared about Caelan a lot, but it had only been recently when he'd realized he had feelings for him that were beyond just their friendship alone. The time may have been longer for Caelan, but for Devan it felt as if he'd only just recently been aware. He worried that things would change for the worst between them if they did anything like this, but what if they didn't? Devan worried about testing boundaries, but maybe just once he'd give in. He could blame it on his hormones, his teenage rebelliousness, or the alcohol -even though he was far from drunk or even buzzed. He wasn't a light weight like apparently Caelan was. @ caelan ||
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Day Class
Cae
IS OFFLINE
17
Years
Old
homosexual
If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of
146 POSTS & 0 LIKES
|
Post by Caelan Rochester on Jul 8, 2014 15:45:00 GMT -9
Your
forever
is all
that
I need
Please
stay
as long
as you
need This whole thing had made him feel really uncomfortable and he didn't like it. Who could blame him after all? He didn't know what to say, he felt that his ex boyfriend might only get angry with him. But so far Devan seemed to be happy. Caelan only wanted to take care of him, go back to how they were. He did love this man. To say he didn't was a full lie. He couldn't lie to anyone right now, he didn't have the stomach or energy for it. He blushed, and only tried to keep from squirming. Honestly he felt that he might be digging himself a bit of a hole. But Caelan would deal with it. He voiced his feelings to Devan. That was the only thing that mattered right now. Why shouldn't he apologize? He'd been a bit rude hadn't he? But what else could he say. Devan had caught him off guard with that. And with his actions. All of it made Caelan's brain fizzle out for a second there.
What was he supposed to think? Devan didn't act the same to him. And lately he'd been off a bit. But of course Caelan was starting to get used to this. He would not end up changing his mind. Not right now, since otherwise it'd probably not do him any good. He wished he could take Devan back. Make the boy his again so no one would be able to take him. That was all, however right now did it matter. He felt as if he was too distracted. The kiss had caught him off guard, and he loved every second of it. Even when maybe he shouldn't.
He tried to give a small nod. He didn't want to make this awkward. "F-fine..." He was still whimpering, the tears were coming out slower now. But he seemed still a bit stressed out. Like maybe he wasn't handling this as well as he should have been. Right? After all who knew just how wrong he might have been with what he was doing. He didn't exactly know how to handle the other things happening to him. That feeling in the pit of his stomach was awkward but not a bad feeling. Devan might have remembered a few things, at least on how to calm him down since they were dating before. Caelan was hard to please sometimes but Devan knew how to help him.
He only wanted to know this was some sign of the male knowing that he was regaining his memories. Even if they were very little. |
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