HUMAN, kaede maeda

Kaede likes to think that he has a good memory; however there's no denying that there's holes, dark, dank and full of the smell of viscera.

He grew up, no memory of his parents, given away too early for him to really form any attachment to them. One of many munchkins in an orphanage, communal life was all Kaede had known. Despite being raised with a gaggle of other kids, he never really felt at home, or really attached to anyone until he met another new arrival at the orphanage -- a boy he came to know as Desi. Something about the youth drew Kaede in, and after a little persistence, he found himself a best friend. He had never felt devotion before then, held no particular love for the orphanage matron nor the other rowdy children that he shared space with. But to Desi he stuck like glue, genuinely enjoying the other's company and wishing only to spend all his time with his playmate.

Such plans are destined to go awry however, especially with such things as schooling involved. Separated by classes (and classmates), Kaede struggled to maintain his bond with Desi. Soon the only time he had with the other boy was back at the orphanage, and even then...Things felt...Different. He wasn't sure when the change had happened, he only knew that something was wrong and he wasn't sure how to fix it. While he endeavored to fix whatever wrong may have occurred, nothing seemed to help. While he didn't exactly want to let go of his friend, he found himself powerless to keep him around, and he wasn't equipped with the sort of personality to try to make the other teenager stay.

High school became an empty experience for Kaede. He had other friends, sure, but it wasn't the same. By the time he graduated he was itching for a change. Instead of going off to college, which was naturally the suggestion of both his teachers and his guidance counselor as 'the only choice for such a bright young man', Kaede instead set off on his own. With little more than the scant cash earned from his part-time jobs over summer break and the clothes on his back, he set out to make something of himself. Wageslave jobs weren't exactly appealing to him so he turned to alternate methods. Eventually that lead to him performing on the street corners outside his apartment complex, which was how he met Benji.

You're talented, the man had said with a winning smile, How would you like to get paid regularly for your charm? Well he could scarcely pass up an opportunity like that. Thus he became a part of the Cirque des Monstres, a local performance troupe lead by Benji himself. There were six performers, seven including their leader. Unlike his experiences at the orphanage, Kaede truly felt as if he were a part of something. His fellow artists were soon viewed as family, though like most families their were problems. Benji was possessive and controlling, hiding it under the guise of 'only wanting the best for you lovelies'.

Unwilling to disappoint the man, subconsciously fearing that perhaps the reason Desi pushed him away was due to some unknown failure, he committed fully to Benji's desires. Which included styling himself differently and striving for unattainable goals regarding his appearance. Despite the fact that he was quite flexible and caught onto contortionism and gymnastics quickly, and thus already rather lean, he was still too...large. He looked to his troupe sisters for help and they taught him the tricks of the trade, so to speak. In doing so he became closer with them, falling under their wing.

And so their little family continued, guided by Benji's influence. Outwardly they were a rather successful group, managing to book some theatres full. However beneath the surface things weren't going so well. Benji wanted more, to fuel the extravagant lifestyle he was funneling the troupe's funds in to. One night Benji targeted Katherine, one of the dancers that he had gotten close to. Things got pretty bad in the condo that evening, the scent of blood filled the air. Katherine lay on the floor, battered and beaten and something in Kaede...just cracked. One moment he was standing, staring blankly at what was going on, and the next he was on the move, hurdling his body into Benji's.

Everything went in slow motion. Crimson flooded his vision. The scent of bile filled his nose.

The room went black.

The next thing he remembered was waking up and seeing Katherine's bruised, haunted face staring down at him. He was in a fresh set of clothes and vaguely smelled of soap. "What--" he had started to ask, but she silenced him. "Kae, baby, you gotta go--"  "Why--" Which only elicited a conflicted expression and a frantic "Benji's gone--you--you gotta go, baby, okay? Take this bag and go--" Katherine had to practically push him out the door, and though he tried to return to them over the next couple days, they were simply...gone.

Kaede was alone again...With nothing to do besides try to move on. He went back to school. Tried to put everything behind him. But the missing time didn't stop the guilt, the nightmares, nor the phantom sensation of blood on his hands or the scent of it stuck in his nose. He did his best to ignore it, and eventually became quite a good actor, able to smooth over his issues and conceal them. 'Superficial' became the name of the game at college, as he had the tendency to push people away and bury himself in work to smother everything else out. He also picked up a taste for body mod, picking up his piercings as well as his brand. The latter he hoped would act as a visible reminder that he had put his past behind him.

As fate would have it, he wasn't able to completely leave his past behind, for he managed to run into Desi again while attending university. The changes that his friend had gone through in his absence left him speechless and rekindled a desire in him to make things right. Attempt after attempt only lead to failure and a sense of burnout plagued him, it was a wonder he managed to graduate in that sort of psychological rut. However, he managed, and drew away, unable to remain by Desi's side due to he sense of failure and inferiority he felt. Certainly the other male deserved someone better, definitely a better friend if nothing else. So, for once, Kaede was the one doing the leaving. With a heavy heart he turned his back on the situation, took his new degree, and sought a new place to live as well as employment.

Settling down at Arden Academy, he only hopes that his life will stabilize...and people won't ask too many questions...

teaches Theatre Arts

★ Likes
▫ Dancing & all sorts of music
▫ Fitting in small places
▫ Giving back rubs
▫ Performing
▫ Strawberries

★ Dislikes
▫ Darkness
▫ Doctor's appointments
▫ His belly
▫ Horror movies
▫ Mirrors & scales

★ Fears
▫ His "darker half" - ever since killing Benji in self-defense, Kaede worries that he has an 'darker' side of him that will kill again if given the chance. It's likely paranoia on his part, really, but that doesn't make the phantom feeling of blood on his hands go away, nor the nightmares.

★ Piercings/tattoos
▫ Kaede has a couple pinna and auricle piercings in each ear, as well as a tongue piercing. He also has a brand situated in the center of his back, in between his shoulder blades.

★ Extras
▫ Kaede's self-image issues are rooted rather deeply, causing him to have a warped view of his body. He struggles with eating, not wanting to gain weight, and often purges what he does consume.
▫ Fluent in Japanese & English

TAKEO of noblesse as kaede maeda,
played by MURA